Category Archives: meaningless

It’s like comparing apples to apples.

Galen, our technical manager, experienced a daily WTF moment of his own today. Here are the Java errors he quoted to us in our IRC channel:

15:35:28,248 ERROR [BasicPropertyAccessor] IllegalArgumentException in class: com.legaledge.harmony.summary.MinimalPerson, setter method of property: modelObjectType

15:35:28,248 ERROR [BasicPropertyAccessor] expected type: com.legaledge.harmony.model.objects.EntityType, actual value: com.legaledge.harmony.model.objects.EntityType

“classloaders. love ’em.”

“Hey, I was expecting an APPLE. Instead, you brought me an APPLE. Why in the world did you bring me an APPLE?”

Interesting searches

Oranchak.com’s web logs have interesting info on what search terms people are using in Google and other search engines to get to my site. Last month somebody browsed to my site by searching for this text:

what does a smudge on a window on a skyscrapper mean

Makes me wonder what was going through this person’s mind as he stared at the window smudge with a puzzled look on his face. “Is it a sign? Is somebody trying to contact me? Perhaps it is a message from the FUTURE!”

There are also a surprising number of searches for “sea monster”. I did not know my site was a reference point for such things. And for some reason I get a lot of searches for “i want to be a hulkamaniac”. That phrase very dependably continues to appear in the logs.

Other noteworthy search phrases:

not the smartest peanut in the turd

i get red splotches on my chest and back after showers

But Clint by far wins the award for the most bizarre search phrase used to get to a personal blog.

Robot poet

The development team I am a part of is scattered across the country. We chat in an IRC channel to keep in touch about our progress, questions, issues, schedules, and whatever else comes to mind. In the IRC channel there is an IRC bot named inky that is used to store occasionally useful snippets of information, such as phone numbers, development server logins, and so forth. But one of its fun features it that it is able to generate random haikus based on phrases that are taught to it by participants in the IRC channel. Here are some highlights:

pelvis and booty
it’s a crazy chicken world
you boinked the undead

what a flippin tool.
I had a bunch of those too
really bites my crank

hey, that fragment sucked
goddamn bill gates and excel
in death’s dream kingdom

she wore blue velvet
never pet a burning dog
rhinoceros? where?

sounds deafen the ear
i’m just thorns without the rose
my skin holds me in

Ah, how it reminds me the good ol’ days when I worked on GOOSE with Jerry.

Day of Nature

There was a strong nature-oriented theme this morning. On the way back from dropping Iris off at school, I stopped at Greenbrier Nurseries to pick up a few houseplants, because we need to bring a plant to the school for Iris to take care of to help teach her about responsibility. After snagging the plants, I drove home and saw a box turtle in the middle of the main road of our neighborhood.

box turtle

Kathryn and I have a habit of stopping whenever we see a turtle in the road while driving. I guess we just can’t bear the thought of flattened turtle meat in the road. And I guess we’re always scouting for easy karma points. So, I pull over and walk over to pick up the turtle, which was headed towards the steep upward embankment on the side of the road. I couldn’t put it on that side, since it would probably just turn around and get back on the road to wait again for other good karma-seekers to snatch it from the jaws of vehicular doom. So I walked it to the other side of the road to place it in the tall grass. The turtle hissed at me as I transported it, as if to say, “You bastard! I spent all morning trying to get to the OTHER side! Who do you think you are???”

Then, when I got home, I saw the dead mouse that Kathryn warned me about on the phone as I was returning home.

dead mouse

Apparantly one of the cats decided to take a drink after killing the mouse, regarding the liquid refreshment as a higher priority to leaving the dead rodent in its mouth. Or the cat, in its sadistic nature, decided to see for its amusement how well a dead or dying rodent can float. Or it was the much less likely scenario of the mouse deciding to do itself in by leaping voluntarily to its watery demise. Thinking along these lines has already convinced me that I need to get out more.

Friday Funnies For the Fourth

Another collection of utterly brainless fun. Internet TV has shriveled my brain.

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Borat trailer. Sacha Baron Cohen, famous for Ali G, in his new role as a hilarious Kazakhstani TV personality.
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Angry British Telecom customer. “And I mean PHYSICALLY!” This guy must be related to Winnebago man.
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Unintentionally suggestive cartoon on a gameshow.
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“Monkey Gland Sauce”. From the excellent Kooky Chow collection of bizarre foods. Among its features is our old favorite, pork brains in milk gravy.
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A terrifying message from Al Gore. And for some reason in the YouTube comments there is a debate about homosexuality, relgion, and science. Like millions of other social web sites. Wisdom of the masses indeed.
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Comcast technician sleeps on customers couch. Customer service!
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The Colbert Report – Gravitas match with Stone Phillips. Watch as esteemed journalists battle.
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The Colbert Report – Gravitas rematch with Stone Phillips. Colbert attempts to reclaim his Gravitas crown.
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Blooper: Man breaks precious item on TV. See? Playing with it CAN break it.
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Pee and Poo toys. Made from cuddly polyester, and… well… who knows.
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Evil Japanese prank show – Toilet from hell. This is what happens when you combine public toilets and elevators.
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Evil Japanese prank show – Spa from hell. I suppose liability lawsuits are an American invention.
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Cell phone striptease. Much better than a lousy textmessage.
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Transformers teaser trailer. Yes, the live-action Transformers movie by Michael Bay. The 80s will live forever! The teaser doesn’t show much – the movie isn’t going to be out until some time next year.

Friday funnies

Since I am lazy and unoriginal, I will regurgitate some funny and interesting things I’ve come across recently –

Bush insults a blind reporter
Connie Chung’s career suicide musical send-off
Classic video games re-animated with everyday items
I Feel Great (Nutri-Grain commercial) Ooongfph!
Amazing two-guitar performance of Super Mario Brothers theme music
Folgers Happy Morning commercial (brings to mind vague images of the Oompa Loompas in psychedelica)
Rollin’ with Bob Saget (“I got a trigger finger itchier than chicken pox”)
William Shatner vs. George Lucas (Star Trek and Star Wars fans may find this video of Shatner singing to Lucas amusing)
Hilarious “brush up on your English” commercial
Reporter vs. Snake (it’s old but still hilarious)
Amazing Wushu broadsword performance

And for you software techies out there, The Daily WTF is one of my new favorite feeds. Great anecdotes showcasing instances when software development goes ever so terribly but amusingly wrong. This collection of funny dialog boxes is a great intro to the site.

Another fun finding this week was Sternest Meanings, a web- and instant-messager-based anagram generator that produces consistently good results. Some funny examples:

  • Leonardo Dicaprio: Periodic anal odor.
  • Osama Bin Laden: A damn alien S.O.B.
  • Condoleezza Rice: Crazed ozone lice.
  • Fatboy Slim: My fat boils.
  • Angelina Jolie: I join anal glee.
  • Kevin Federline: Fiend-like nerve.
  • War on Terrorism: Warrior monster.
  • Leonardo Da Vinci: Vindaloo and rice.

From Clint:

  • George Bush: O, he buggers!
  • George W. Bush: He grew bogus.
  • Donald Rumsfeld: Muddler of lands.
  • Saddam Hussein: UN’s said he’s mad.
  • Ann Coulter: Unclean rot.
  • Colin Powell: Low, nice poll.
  • Taliban: Bit anal?

Reminds me of the good ol’ days when Jerry and I would sit in class creating our own anagrams and palindromes by hand. That’s just how cool we were!

McSweat

Apprently hell froze over and McDonald’s started giving out exercise videos to their customers. I ordered my greasy breakfast this morning in the drive through and got handed this DVD:

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Take a careful look at “Maya”, the personal trainer. She’s a 3D computer image; not even a real person! Which makes the following screenshot even more ridiculous:

mcexercise-bent.jpg

The image is vaguely South Park-esque (you know, the episode with Cartman and the alien probe).

Can you believe they are bundling these videos (there are four in all) with so-called “Adult Happy Meals”?

happy

Gah! Water and salad will never give me the same level of happiness as the 50,000 calorie McGriddle stomach-paver!

Caution: Do Not Eat

Do you ever wonder when it is OK to eat breakfast sausage and when it is NOT OK to eat breakfast sausage?

normal

Figure 1: Normal sausage

abnormal

Figure 2: Abnormal sausage

This is what we pulled out of our fridge yesterday. Spontaneously inflating food is probably a clear warning sign to stay away. Luckily, we managed to dispose of the sausage before it could turn into an all-consuming, remorseless blob.

Some funnies

Quick and simple post with some hilarious video findings –

oops
Local News Blooper of the Year
Aspiring anchors, take note.

winnebago
Zero Job Satisfaction
(Warning: copious amounts of swearing. Perhaps brought on by lack of good psychiatric medicines. Or lack of good career counseling sessions.)

darth
Long-Lost Deleted Scene From Star Wars
(hilarious bit from Robot Chicken, which in season 2 has rekindled the love). Warning: Only likely to be funny if you have any kind of familiarity with Star Wars. And on a related note, here’s Neverending Party, a Robot Chicken spoof of The Neverending Story.

Coke BarF

Have you ever sucked on a bar rag used to clean spilled Coke and coffee? No? Neither have I. But I think I came close to when I decided to try this stuff:

blak-cola.jpg

Marketing:

“Coca-Cola BlaK is CokeĀ® Effervescence with Coffee Essence.”

Yeah. Best review I read said “BlaK” is the sound you make regurgitating this nasty drink!