Monthly Archives: March 2006

All thumbs

Funniest movie review I’ve read in a long while came from William Gibson‘s blog today:

Just back from V FOR VENDETTA. More thumbs up than a Chernobyl pianist. Superb. Splendid. Heartening. Go see.

Works for me; I’m there, dude!

Don’t bother sending subscription cards to them.

Kathryn was browsing magazines at Barnes and Noble tonight. As she reached to shelve a magazine she said “pardon me” to an old man that was also browsing magazines. The old man said to her, “Do you ever wonder if there are any groups that have NO magazines?” Kathryn said, “You mean, like special interest groups?” The old man replied, “Yeah; a group like, for example, The Suicide Club. I mean, there’d be nobody left to get the magazines anyway!” Then, he walked away.

Hurricane Iris keeps on blowin’

The toddler adventures continue. Iris was enjoying a fine slice of deli ham, and her nose started to run, as it had been pretty much all day. Sitting in another room, I hear Kathryn in the kitchen saying “Iris, wipe your nose. Iris, wipe your nose!” A few moments pass, and then Kathryn yells:


These are things you never expect to say. Ever. But I’m willing to bet that a million other parents have repeated the same words at one time or another.

The self-cleaning ecosystem

Our after-dinner treat tonight was discovering that Iris had left a massive turd on the dining room floor. Our response:

  • Step 1: Take Iris to the bathroom to get her cleaned up.
  • Step 2: Go back to the dining room to take the turd off the.. hey, the turd’s gone, and the dog’s got a big smile on his face.
  • Step 3: Listen to Iris scolding the dog repeatedly with “Don’t eat my poopie, Gonzo! Not nice!”
  • Step 4: Regard the incident as extremely disgusting, and replace this regard with “Oh, wait, at least he helped solve the problem.”


“It had a delightful, full-bodied aroma of toddler chow. Now I will pant in your vicinity.”

The Wintergreen Ice Monster

Behold, the vaguely Cthulhu-esque monstrosity, entombed in ice near one of the snowmaking nozzles at Wintergreen Ski Resort, witnessed during an excursion there with Chris and Steve this past Wednesday:



Kathryn’s birthday dinner

To celebrate Kathryn’s birthday, I whipped up an international plethora tonight:

Greek salad + egg curry + carrot cake with cream cheese icing + Moscato d’Asti + mochi ice cream = Crazy Delicious!

It was a yuppie food orgy. Bring me my cornucopia of earthly delights. YUMMM!!!

It was kind of my last meal as a “free” man, since I’m starting a new job tomorrow. Revel in freedom while it lasts!

Why can’t our signs be this poetic?


I’d be more compelled to comply with U.S. signage if they were this pleasant to read! Imagine: haiku speed limit signs. Road safety unfurls like the beautiful lotus petals.

What not to put on your resume

Funny resume/interview stories that Josh found on TotalFark a while back:

This guy’s a team player:

I was going to post snippits from resumes I’ve recieved, but I decided against it. The best I’ve ever gotten:
Burger King
* Ringing register
* Flipping burgers
* Doing what my manager told me to do

And I’m not even kidding.

Too honest:

On a side note, I saw a resume the other day for a guy who minored in “Alcohol and Substance Abuse”. Didn’t we all…

Some people, like Josh, can get away with cursing during the interview. But not this guy:

We were interviewing college kids for paid internships at my old job (computers/engineering). One guy kept using the F-word DURING THE INTERVIEW. Maybe he used it during everyday conversation, don’t really care, but he couldn’t seem to stop for even the 30 minutes we talked to him.

Unintended wording:

We got one here for a secretary position where the applicant proudly proclaimed that she “exceeded every deadline given”

She can sling it, literally AND figuratively:

We got one from a woman who had been out of the workforce for five years while raising her kid. These words should never, ever be placed in a resume: “If I can clean poop, I can work for you!” We interviewed her anyway, and she wasn’t very bright.

Career-limiting emanations:

Once, while interviewing a candidate an unpleasant smell crept into my office. She asked me, “Is that my feet?” It was. Funny thing is that she looked great on paper.

Jon figures out the secret of government contracting

Jon: So what does EAGLE really stand for?
Dave: I’m having trouble googling for it…
Dave: it’s a big Department of Homeland Security-wide IT contract, methinks.
Jon: Extremely Agile Gubmint Looting Exercise



That look is Bill Gates’ reaction to a hilarious dig by the inventor of control-alt-delete, who at a gathering at the twentieth anniversary of the IBM PC said this:

I may have invented control-alt-delete, but Bill (Gates) made it famous.

Here is a great video of this moment.