Monthly Archives: November 2006

Doesn’t everyone need a deal like this?

Picture 8.jpg

Go buy it, and re-sell it at the list price!!

Haiku explosion

I was inspired by the random-haiku-spewing IRC chatterbot at work to make a version that works in Javascript. It uses the same phrase fragments that drive the IRC version:

I think it will probably only work in modern browsers. If it doesn’t work for you, don’t worry – you aren’t missing much.

Alternate version without the explosion effect:

(if you are seeing this in an rss reader, please come directly to the post, since the javascript probably won’t work in your reader)

(see also: GOOSE)

Drywall face

QVC has some kind of strange hook that baits us into watching. Flipping through the channels, we are compelled to have the surreal experience of watching tacky products sold by over-enthusiastic cable television personalities. Kathryn was ensnared recently by the hyperactive delivery of sales points for Laura Geller “Spackle” makeup:

spackle1.jpg spackle2.jpg

I don’t claim to understand women, but I doubt they find much attraction to a cosmetic product named after something sold at Home Depot to help you patch up drywall so you can get your security deposit back.

Chat room robot haiku post of the day

Here’s an amusing randomly-generated haiku made by our chat bot today on the IRC channel at work:

who let the dogs out?
when the revolution comes
camels cannot dance

Offensive virtual festive gourds

I upgraded my Mac text editor today and saw the following surprising entry in the release notes:

[REMOVED] TextMate no longer pays tribute to human sacrifices, rape, nor does it show a picture of the God of the deaths in your dock — ticket 945BEB5D

Normally I’d expect to see a list of bug fixes or new features. The above entry surprised me, and I had to find out why it was there. It all spawned from the company deciding to push out a Halloween-oriented theme for the software. The theme included this dock icon:


Inevitably, someone found it offensive, and their complaint caused it to be removed: “I found this offensive and promptly removed the theme. Please understand I do not think it is offensive because I am some fanatical weirdo. But the roots of Halloween are in animal and human sacrifices as well as rape in the name if Satan.”

Here’s the full story with more detail. I can only imagine what will happen if they push out any Christmas-oriented imagery in their December updates.

Cthulhu fhtagn, and he approves of this message.

The unspeakable dread is mounting on this Election Day as I traverse the glittering touchscreen prompts on the voting machines to select our next round of overlords. But in his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming. And he has a campaign. Chris, friend of the Cthulhu for Senate effort, wore this shirt to the polls this morning:


Get the word out with another fine example of Cthulhu campaign paraphenilia:


More info on Cthulhu. Keep his name in mind if your desperation at the ballot leads you to stare at the write-in box, wondering what name to scrawl there. Is “a pulpy, tentacled head surmounted by a grotesque and scaly body with rudimentary wings” really any worse than many of the people we’ve already elected???

We’ll have to wait a little while longer for the Cthulhu for President campaign to heat up.


The Napoleon Dynamite shirt the Cthulhu shirt is based on:


See also: Icethulhu and Foodthulhu.

Crimes against nature

Poking around in our application at the Kentucky public defenders office, I came across a test case with the following misdemeanor charge:


It cracked me up. My dormant brain took a while to remember that “slugs” refers to counterfeit coins rather than our little slimy salt-phobic friends. But maybe in Kentucky it truly is a misdemeanor to live out the childhood experience of torturing a slug with salt. Things are different in Kentucky.

Lindsay Lohan vs Maria Montessori

Sometimes, free web site hosting is not the best option. Often, you will get stuck with garish banner ads plastered across your web site so the hosting provider can generate a few cents of revenue from your page. The Montessori school we send Iris to uses one of these free web hosting providers, and here is an exhibit of why this can be a bad idea:


Click for a larger picture. Notice the banner ad on the right.

Showing cleavage and asking “whose clothes are more revealing?” may not be the best way to promote your preschool. Or am I just being old fashioned?

“Get with it, Dave; breasts sell EVERYTHING, including preschools. END OF STORY.”

Joke of the day, part deux

Today’s apparently Cheesy Joke Day. So here’s one submitted by Chris:

Question: What did the Dalai Lama say to the hot dog vendor?
Answer: Make me one with everything.

Joke of the day

Been thin on posts lately – all I have for now is a joke I heard at work recently:

A guy walks into a butcher shop, and while he’s waiting for his order the butcher says, “Excuse me, Sir; Please don’t sit on the bacon slicer… We’ve been getting a little behind in our orders!”