Monthly Archives: June 2006

Friday Funnies For the Fourth

Another collection of utterly brainless fun. Internet TV has shriveled my brain.

Borat trailer. Sacha Baron Cohen, famous for Ali G, in his new role as a hilarious Kazakhstani TV personality.
Angry British Telecom customer. “And I mean PHYSICALLY!” This guy must be related to Winnebago man.
Unintentionally suggestive cartoon on a gameshow.
“Monkey Gland Sauce”. From the excellent Kooky Chow collection of bizarre foods. Among its features is our old favorite, pork brains in milk gravy.
A terrifying message from Al Gore. And for some reason in the YouTube comments there is a debate about homosexuality, relgion, and science. Like millions of other social web sites. Wisdom of the masses indeed.
Comcast technician sleeps on customers couch. Customer service!
The Colbert Report – Gravitas match with Stone Phillips. Watch as esteemed journalists battle.
The Colbert Report – Gravitas rematch with Stone Phillips. Colbert attempts to reclaim his Gravitas crown.
Blooper: Man breaks precious item on TV. See? Playing with it CAN break it.
Pee and Poo toys. Made from cuddly polyester, and… well… who knows.
Evil Japanese prank show – Toilet from hell. This is what happens when you combine public toilets and elevators.
Evil Japanese prank show – Spa from hell. I suppose liability lawsuits are an American invention.
Cell phone striptease. Much better than a lousy textmessage.
Transformers teaser trailer. Yes, the live-action Transformers movie by Michael Bay. The 80s will live forever! The teaser doesn’t show much – the movie isn’t going to be out until some time next year.

Friday funnies

Since I am lazy and unoriginal, I will regurgitate some funny and interesting things I’ve come across recently –

Bush insults a blind reporter
Connie Chung’s career suicide musical send-off
Classic video games re-animated with everyday items
I Feel Great (Nutri-Grain commercial) Ooongfph!
Amazing two-guitar performance of Super Mario Brothers theme music
Folgers Happy Morning commercial (brings to mind vague images of the Oompa Loompas in psychedelica)
Rollin’ with Bob Saget (“I got a trigger finger itchier than chicken pox”)
William Shatner vs. George Lucas (Star Trek and Star Wars fans may find this video of Shatner singing to Lucas amusing)
Hilarious “brush up on your English” commercial
Reporter vs. Snake (it’s old but still hilarious)
Amazing Wushu broadsword performance

And for you software techies out there, The Daily WTF is one of my new favorite feeds. Great anecdotes showcasing instances when software development goes ever so terribly but amusingly wrong. This collection of funny dialog boxes is a great intro to the site.

Another fun finding this week was Sternest Meanings, a web- and instant-messager-based anagram generator that produces consistently good results. Some funny examples:

  • Leonardo Dicaprio: Periodic anal odor.
  • Osama Bin Laden: A damn alien S.O.B.
  • Condoleezza Rice: Crazed ozone lice.
  • Fatboy Slim: My fat boils.
  • Angelina Jolie: I join anal glee.
  • Kevin Federline: Fiend-like nerve.
  • War on Terrorism: Warrior monster.
  • Leonardo Da Vinci: Vindaloo and rice.

From Clint:

  • George Bush: O, he buggers!
  • George W. Bush: He grew bogus.
  • Donald Rumsfeld: Muddler of lands.
  • Saddam Hussein: UN’s said he’s mad.
  • Ann Coulter: Unclean rot.
  • Colin Powell: Low, nice poll.
  • Taliban: Bit anal?

Reminds me of the good ol’ days when Jerry and I would sit in class creating our own anagrams and palindromes by hand. That’s just how cool we were!

Scamming for Christ

I received one of these “Jesus Prayer Rug” scam letters in the mail a few weeks back:


The Jesus Prayer Rug is a sheet of paper you unfold after opening the letter. The caption says: “Look into Jesus’ Eyes you will see they are closed. But as you continue to look you will see His eyes opening and looking back into your eyes. Then go home and be alone and kneel on this Rug of Faith or touch it to both knees. Then please check your needs on our letter to you. Please return this Prayer Rug. Do not keep it.” Alas, the optical illusion did not inspire me to kneel upon a piece of paper I received in the mail. I feel really bad for people that fall for this trick, and it annoys me that the originators of this letter are trying to trick these folks. Naturally, in the list of needs on the back of the letter, there is an option for enclosing a “seed gift” of money to help the “church”.

(UPDATE: higher resolution versions of the Jesus Rug. Can you see his eyes opening? First | Second)


This is the message on the back of the “rug”. Soaked with the power of prayer? Maybe I should not have touched it. Sounds vaguely unsanitary.


Just like emailed chain letters, this one also claims to make you rich as long as you pass it along to others.


Even more of the ridiculous claims. You can read more about the scam on this informative post.

A cry for help

While looking for pizza places in the phone book at the Outer Banks beach house last week, we found this:


The help line is apparently named after the sound you make when you’ve had too much alcohaaaaaal. I also like the wording: “24 Hour Abuse Access”. For those odd hours when you just gotta have some abuse.

Interestingly, a Google search yields many listings with this misspelling.


Apprently hell froze over and McDonald’s started giving out exercise videos to their customers. I ordered my greasy breakfast this morning in the drive through and got handed this DVD:


Take a careful look at “Maya”, the personal trainer. She’s a 3D computer image; not even a real person! Which makes the following screenshot even more ridiculous:


The image is vaguely South Park-esque (you know, the episode with Cartman and the alien probe).

Can you believe they are bundling these videos (there are four in all) with so-called “Adult Happy Meals”?


Gah! Water and salad will never give me the same level of happiness as the 50,000 calorie McGriddle stomach-paver!

Science heathens

Followup to the Outer Banks post:

I loved these bumper stickers we saw on an old ragged pickup truck at a gas station en route to the beach:





To celebrate National Day Of Slayer (today is 06/06/06), check out the novelty lounge version of Slayer’s song “War Ensemble” amid this medley of samples from Richard’s Cheese‘s album “I’d Like A Virgin”. Also noteworthy is the haunting Tori Amos version of Raining Blood.

Jabba the Sand


This was our attempt to leave a mark on our Outer Banks vacation last week. Jabba the Sand watched over the children for a few hours before it succumbed to the perils of wind and water.

The beach house was very nice – it even had a 12-seat Mini-Theater! And a golf cart!


Alas we are now stricken with beach grief after coming home. So much so that we are looking with Chris and Angel at even more beach houses in the Banks for a possible September trip.