Award shows

Kathryn, inspired by enduring the dullness of the large number of secondary and tertiary award categories in this year’s Oscars, created her own award subcategory:

“Best shoes in a short documentary about weevils.”

True family values

“If the government truly wanted to ‘defend my marriage’ it would
hire us a maid and a cook and prevent another massively
multiplayer online role-playing game (MMORPG) from ever working
on my husband’s computer.”

– Kelly Henley, in a letter to the editor of _Salon_.


Funny quote from a childhood hero

Tom Baker of Doctor Who fame is still getting roles – most recently, doing a voiceover in a movie called “The Magic Roundabout”. From a Doctor Who news blog comes this quote from a newspaper article:

Baker waxes on the role: “I mostly earn my living on my voice now, because I haven’t got the force in my legs to run anymore, even when I’m being pursued in Waitrose where I am a sex symbol for lecherous old upper class ladies of about 85.”

End of civilization

Somebody please find out if this quote is inauthentic. I don’t want to have to believe that such textbooks exist:

“If you are given the length of two sides and the angle measure
opposite one of those sides, you can use the law of sines to
solve the triangle. However, this does not always determine a
unique triangle. As a result, it is called the ambiguous case.
Ambiguous means open to multiple interpretations. Some people
say that you can interpret the Bible in any way that you want.
However, there is no ambiguity in the Bible.”

– From Precalculus for Christian Schools, a textbook published
by Bob Jones University.

Best reason I’ve seen for not getting LASIK surgery

This is a comment from a article about LASIK surgery:

I had LASIK done over a year ago, and the results have been great. Better than 20/20 with no side effects.

I was a tad nervous going in to the laser room. When they sat me down, I could see that the laser’s guidance system was running on windowsNT, then I started to wonder. I asked one of the techs, “you guys expect me to put my vision in the hands of the NT kernel?”

Needless to say, the techs were kind of annoyed with me questioning the software controls for the laser. When everything was finished, and I was stumbling out the room, one of the techs jokingly said, “Not bad for windows, kid!”