Category Archives: meaningless

Every letter is powerful

A fun nugget from my new favorite blog, Futility Closet:

Show this bold Prussian that praises slaughter, slaughter brings rout. Teach this slaughter-lover his fall nears.

Grim, no? But remove the first letter of each word and the mood changes:

How his old Russian hat raises laughter ‚ÄĒ laughter rings out! Each, his laughter over, is all ears.

Check out Futility Closet for more fascinating curiosities tinted with language, math, science, antiquity, puzzles, and amusement. I especially enjoy The Random Item Button.

Merry Chrissstmasss

Alligator Dragon Santa

It almost passed the Turing Test

This morning on AOL instant messenger, I got hit with some bizarre messages out of the blue:

kemptcoho: Let's look at the world with respect to theta.

doranchak: ok, let's do that

kemptcoho: what up
kemptcoho: so who is this?

doranchak: i was going to ask you the same thing

kemptcoho: and why am I your fellow prisoner? ha
kemptcoho: and I am Adam...

doranchak: adam who?

kemptcoho: Well now if I give everything away with nothing back then where is the fun?
kemptcoho: remember you sent me a message first...

doranchak: no, i didn't
doranchak: you did

kemptcoho: [06:36] DecayingCoho: Hello, my fellow prisoner!
[06:36] JudgeKaos: what up

What the hell???

So, I start thinking, maybe this was one of those AIM robots. This type of chat robot scrapes messages from blog posts and other online content. The robot then sends one of these messages to a person via AIM. If the person responds, the robot sends the response to some other person on AIM. When THAT person responds, the message is funneled back to the first person. And so it goes, causing all sorts of confusion.

Here’s where I start to wise up on what’s happening:


doranchak: oooh
doranchak: are you a trout bot? (Ed.: A trout bot is a variation of TheGreatHatsby)

kemptcoho: no....

doranchak: prove it ūüôā
doranchak: ahh
doranchak: you're a coho bot
doranchak: my mistake ūüôā

kemptcoho: and one proves they are not a bot how?

doranchak: that's a good existential question

kemptcoho: so you still haven't given me any indication as to who you are...

doranchak: my mommy told me not to talk to strangers

kemptcoho: or where I would know you from and what would prompt you to message me

doranchak: hey, whoever's on the other end of this: look up "coho bots" on wikipedia
doranchak: there's a bot funneling our responses back and forth to each other

kemptcoho: nice so we were put in touch by a bot how wonderful

doranchak: yeah, these bots are annoying, aren't they?

kemptcoho: very much so
kemptcoho: I was wondering why someone just messaged me outta the blue

doranchak: yeah, i was wondering that too

kemptcoho: I figured it was someone from the overnight forums at crackberry

doranchak: did you post "Let's look at the world with respect to theta." somewhere online?
doranchak: the bot scrapes messages like that to fool people into thinking they are talking to real people

kemptcoho: cant say that I did

doranchak: i wonder where it found that message

kemptcoho: so you are a real person?

doranchak: yeah; "kemptcoho" is the bot. it has two chats going on at once: one with me, and one with you. it's taking my messages to it and passing them along to you, and vice-versa.

kemptcoho: one word
kemptcoho: ANNOYING!

doranchak: agreed. ūüôā
doranchak: well, nice chatting with you anyway. have a good day!

What a waste of time. But it was interesting to experience the scam. I think a lot of people get really angry when they experience the bot since it seems like some weirdo is stalking them (this is kind of what I felt at the beginning of the conversation above).

VP debate: It had some words in it.

I couldn’t help but follow up my previous Wordle posts with some new Wordles generated from last night’s VP debate transcript.

As John Hodgman said recently on Twitter during the debate broadcast: “Word salad. Word salad. Word salad. I feel like I’m hearing a spam. So to speak.”

Here, enjoy re-living the word salad:

Palin:

Biden:

Ifill:

Last night’s debate gave me a headache. I think I have a hangover. And I didn’t even play the debate drinking game. Or Palin Bingo.

The presidential debate was full of words, part 2

I’m a little late in following up my previous post, but I was curious how last week’s debate Wordle looked like broken down by each candidate.

McCain:

Obama:

Lehrer:

I wish Wordle had a B.S. detection option. But such a thing would be overworked during election season…

“We’re sorry, this application is not available at the moment due to high levels of bullshit.”

Tonight’s debate: Full of words.

Wordle visualizes which ones were most common:

(click the image to see the original Wordle generated from the debate transcripts)

Inclement weather

What CNN should have looked like today:

Start your weekend with some crazy




(youtube link)

iMovie + clips of Mel Gibson from “Who Killed the Electric Car” + a little bit a free time = Mel Gibsanity.

New Media Flotsam

I thought I would post a roundup of convenient links to RSS feeds for all my social media debris (blog, Flickr, YouTube, Digg, del.icio.us, last.fm, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc.). But FriendFeed already does it elegantly with a single simple page:

http://friendfeed.com/doranchak

And, with a single consolidated RSS feed to go with it:

http://friendfeed.com/doranchak?format=atom

If you aren’t familiar with RSS, read this, or this, or this. My favorite RSS reader is Google Reader because I can use it anywhere; check it out here.

Twenty-first century technology enables me to bore you more efficiently than ever before!

Oh Mariam Almaleek, we could have had something.

Normally, I ignore the constant stream of spam that comes my way. But I got an email from a scammer, and I wanted to waste the scammer’s time, so I thought I would have some fun. The scammer’s emails are in indented green; my replies are in bold blue.

Dearest,
Please permit me to introduce myself and my reason for contacting you as we have not met before. My name is Mariam Almaleek (Miss) from Ivory Coast in West African Sub-Region.
I am 22years only and a second year accountancy student.I am the only daughter (child) of my late parents who died some years back (Mr .Kamal and Mrs Hanifah Almaleek).

The reason I contacted you is about a business proposal you might be interestest on but before I go into details I would want to know more about you. Please respond me as quickly as possible so I can furnish you with more details.
I am looking up to hearing from you ASAP.
Thanks and God bless
Mariam


Nice to hear from you.  I am a successful businessman looking for new opportunities.  Let me know what you have in mind.
-Dave

Dear Mr. David
 
Sir
 
Thanks a lot for your response to my letter.¬†¬† Before I go in details, I would like to re-introduce myself once again so as to allow you know more about me. My name is Mariam Almaleek, 22 years old and a second year accountancy student. I am the only surviving child of my late parents (Mr. Kamal and Mrs.Hanifah Almaleek). My mother who died when I was only 4 years was a white South African. My father married her when he based in South Africa but they later came back here in Ivory Coast in West Africa which is my father’s home country and I was born and raised up here.
Before his tragic death, my father was a well known business person here who uses to export Cocoa,Rubber,Coffee and other agricultural produce from here to overseas. Sadly to say, my father was poison by his uncle because of his wealth.
 
However, the reason I contacted you is about some money ($6.500.000) my father deposited in a bank here. My father told me by his bed side that he planned to use the money set-up a Rubber processing factory so as to enable him meet a demand of the product at that time but his uncle decided to poison him because of greed over his wealth.
When his health deteriorated, he advised me to look for a reliable business person outside my country here who can assist me claim and invest the money into REAL ESTATE BUSINESS overseas. Now, I am soliciting your assistance to claim the money and to invest it into the REAL ESTATE BUSINESS as my father had instructed or any other business in your country.
 
Please if you are interested and willing to help me, do let me know as quickly as possible so we can discuss how to proceed.
I am hopefully waiting on your soonest and positive response.
 
Thanks and God bless
 
Sincerely
 
Miss Mariam Almaleek


Miss Mariam Almaleek,

Thank you for the background information; I hope your father’s uncle is brought to justice over his horrible act. ¬†What a tragedy!

What are the next steps for me to assist you in claiming your father’s money? ¬†Do you have any other information you can give me about his business?
Thanks,
-Dave

Dear Mr. David
 
Thanks for your response and willingness to help me. First of all, I would like to assure you that my late father was a well respected person during his time and he earned the money by honest means.
The reason I contacted you for help is because of my father’s advice¬†to me to look for someone outside here to help me invest the money overseas so I can stay away from his siblings.
Now, I would want you to tell me more about your self and your government’s condition concerning foreigners coming to invest there.
Also, I want you to send me your¬†personal information’s such as¬†( your Identity Card, your address, telephone and fax number) so I can submit it to the bank here. I will send you the deposit slip of the money¬†and other details as soon as I submit your¬†personal information’s¬†to the bank¬†and you will contact the bank to know how the transfer¬†can be carry out¬†to your account.
 
While the transfer will be going on, you will send me a letter of invitation so as to allow me get your country’s visa here because I would want to join you there immediately after the transfer is done.
When I come there we will discuss face to face about investments and how you can help me resume my education there
I am hopefully awaiting your soonest response so I can proceed.
 
Thanks and God bless
 
Mariam
Attached is my picture



(That photo looks like it was scanned right out of some fashion catalog)

So it’s the same old “send me your personal information so I can rip you off while you are waiting for a big money transfer” scam. Nice try. Here, let me offer some bait:

Mariam,

I have been working in the software business for about 20 years now and I’ve had several successful investment engagements with foreigners already. ¬†In fact, I find this type of work to be very rewarding. ¬†I once partnered with a languishing software reseller that was struggling until we found some investors from overseas. ¬†Now the company is pulling in $20 million annually. ¬†Our government seldom has problems with overseas money, as long as the investments are not made with illegal means. ¬†To this end, I will be willing to provide my personal information if I can receive a token of good faith, such as a picture showing the letterhead of stationary used by your father’s business, or a picture showing yourself and your father together.

I look forward to doing business.

Dear Mr David
 
Thanks for telling me about you. See in the attachment a picture I took with my late father and his French business partner when they inaugurated a joint Rubber processing company here few months before my father’s death but its regrettable the way my father’s share in the company and other assets was sold off by his uncle after my father’s death.
 
Also you will see in the attachment a picture of my father’s coffin during his burial ceremony. As I said before, I will send you the contact of the bank and other details concerning the fund as soon as I received your information’s and submits it to the bank. Then you will negotiate with the bank on how to get the fund transfer to your account.
 
I am looking forward to hearing from you
 
Thanks and God bless



That second picture has some EXIF information in the photo data:

Software|Adobe Photoshop CS2 Windows

Uh huh. Yeah. Look at her head in that second picture. Click to see the bigger version, and look at how her head stands out from the rest of the picture.
Now, “she” tries to sweeten the deal by sexing it up a little bit:

Dear Mr. David
 
See in the attachment three more of my pics.
 
Thanks

Mariam



Uh huh. What I want to know is what the poor woman who posed for these photos thinks of being used in an international scam like this.

Mariam,

Thank for the information and photos.  As I prepare my personal information, I would like to get some more information about the Rubber processing company so I have all my records straight before we conduct our transaction. Can you tell me the name of the company, as well as the full names of your father and uncle?

Regards

But she’s starting to sniff me out:

Dear Mr David
 
I have¬†given you¬†the necessary information’s about me as well as my late¬†father’s picture as you requested¬†but I am wondering now if you really want to help me?. Please, this is a transaction that involves large sum of money my late father toiled in years to earned here, therefore I need to know more about you so as to reassure my trust in you.
 
I will send you further information’s as requested¬†but let me get your details and conclude discussion with the bank here.
 
Thanks and God bless
 
Mariam


Mariam, thank for this opportunity.  I understand your concern.  But from time to time I receive information about people that are not honest about their business transactions online.  I really do want to help you.  But I need some more evidence that you are truly who you say you are and that your father did indeed leave you the money.  All I need is some more information about the names of your father and uncle, and the name of the Rubber plant.  Also, tell me which details you need from me to initiate this transaction.  What kind of bank account will work best for you?
Regards,

Dear mr david
 
Thank you for your response, but I would say that your interest to assist me was rather unspecific following the sentences contained in your reply. You seem to doubt the authenticity of my proposal which I dont find strange because of the means by which I have contacted you, Please accept my apologies for this, it was due to prompt accessment of your recent email.
 
I am quite skeptical in believing that you really want to help me,if not, why were you reluctant in sending me your personal data so as to allow me know whom I am dealing with.
Considering the money involved, it is rather¬†uncompromised for me to release more information about my family unless i see your¬†reliable information¬†and be sure of the person¬†I am¬†entrusting my father’s hard earned money¬†to his hand,¬†my trust is not given out lightly on this. I need to be convinced¬†that¬†you¬†are a¬†honest person with some integrity.
You should also have trust in me as I will have in you otherwise what will be the point going further if we cannot establish some trust for each other. It is true that I contacted you for assistance due to my present situation as orphan but your decision to help me will only be at your free will as I cannot impose it on you, it is your choice to disagree or accept with the principles as a whole.
 
I would indeed be overwhelmed seen you in person here if that is possible, perhaps I would lead you to the bank so you will stand as my guidian to do a face to face negotiation with them concerning this transaction.
 
Well if I may remind you again, you are required to send a copy of your Driver’s Licence or your International Passport, your address and phone numbers. My curiousity can be justified considering the money in question, besides, it is this copy of your Driver’s Licence or International Passport that will be be used by the¬†bank to have all the necesary documentations perfected.
 
If you really intend to help me it would be necessary to have these scanned and sent to me immediately via email attachment.
 
Thanks
 
Mariam

OK; fine. Mariam, you win. A scan of my license, eh? I can do that. Oops, something must have gone “wrong” with my “scanner”:

Mariam,

Sorry for the long delay in replying – I was away on travel for business. ¬†It has been a very stressful time for me and unfortunately my emails have piled up; it’s been hard to keep up with everything. ¬†I’m sure you can relate to this. ¬†Do you have days like this when you think you simply cannot keep up with everything that’s happening? ¬†Sometimes I wonder if I am in the right profession. ¬†Have you ever thought this? ¬†What would your dream job be? ¬†I am very curious, since you are from another country; I believe our American work culture is very different from other countries. ¬†I’d be very interested to know what it’s like to work in your country.

Anyway, I had some problems with my old scanner.  I went out and bought a new one, but the Windows drivers were flaky Рthe scanning program crashed a few times.  But I did manage to get a good scan of my license in between crashes.  It is attached.

I look forward to speaking with you about the next steps.  I hope I can be of assistance in your time of need!
Regards,
-D


Dear Mr. David
 
Thanks for your email I had received. Anyway, I will be waiting till you put your scanner in order, then you can send me a clear picture of your identity card with your separate picture to my curiosity. Also you will send me your address, and phone numbers.  

I will tell¬†you when I get your clear scanned identity card and other information’s. What you sent can not be considered identity card as no immage appeares in it.
 
Thanks
 
Mariam


Mariam,

I think I have resolved the problem with my scanner. Probably something to do with gamma rays and sunspots. Anyway, my license is attached. I look forward to the next steps of our business arrangement!
Regards





Yes. That’s right. I *am* McLovin’.

I didn’t hear from her again. Well, duh.