“This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the US department of energy. I then took a shower in the clean water provided by the municipal water utility. After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC regulated channels to see what the national weather service of the national oceanographic and atmospheric administration determined the weather was going to be like using satellites designed, built, and launched by the national aeronautics and space administration. I watched this while eating my breakfast of US department of agriculture inspected food and taking the drugs which have been determined as safe by the food and drug administration.

At the appropriate time as regulated by the US congress and kept accurate by the national institute of standards and technology and the US naval observatory, I get into my national highway traffic safety administration approved automobile and set out to work on the roads build by the local, state, and federal departments of transportation, possibly stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the environmental protection agency, using legal tender issued by the federal reserve bank. On the way out the door I deposit any mail I have to be sent out via the US postal service and drop the kids off at the public school.

After spending another day not being maimed or killed at work thanks to the workplace regulations imposed by the department of labor and the occupational safety and health administration, enjoying another two meals which again do not kill me because of the USDA, I drive my NHTSA car back home on the DOT roads, to ny house which has not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and fire marshal’s inspection, and which has not been plundered of all its valuables thanks to the local police department.

I then log on to the internet which was developed by the defense advanced research projects administration and post on and fox news forums about how SOCIALISM in medicine is BAD because the government can’t do anything right.”

6 responses to “OMG SOCIALISM!

  1. A perfect rant, except for the inclusion of the postal service, which has not taken any taxpayer money since 1983. They get reimbursed for their mail for the blind program, but unless you’re blind, mail isn’t socialism anymore. Tho it was built on it 🙂

  2. True, but USPS is still a non-private government-managed agency providing basic services to us. OMG, THEY ARE TELLING US HOW TO MOVE LETTERS AROUND!

  3. You mention regulation regularly throughout the rant – it must be the responsibility of the government to regulate. Consider that the government does not build all buildings, farm all food, or research the drugs it approves for the market place, run cable/phone to your house, or provide you a car to drive on the roads they construct. They regulate these after people create them.

    Government can help us do great things – NASA is a good example. Roads, infrastructure, civil order (Police, Fire, etc) are things that it can do but is always bound by different considerations than the private sector.

    Public schools are shit – although better than nothing, I suppose.

    Government by nature is reactive and not proactive. However, as a democracy, we may find leaders that can be proactive and shake the paradigm – nothing is an absolute certainty.

    We have greedy corporations like Enron, greedy politicians in every state, county, and party. We always will, its part of human nature and built into our wiring.

  4. What an awesome quote. It makes a point so eloquently that I’ve been trying to get people to understand. I like having police, fire codes, public education, food safety, currency, a military, space exploration, general science, and pharmaceuticals.

    I wish people would understand when they apply the word “socialism” so hyperbolically, that the extreme alternative is anarchy.

  5. Since human nature dictates that some of us are wired for greed we should create an organization that will keep greed in check. Since its members may be greedy themselves, I propose that we organize it in a way that provides internal checks and balances. It will only intervene when there are obvious imbalances and unfairness on both domestic and foreign soil, where appropriate. It will also ensure each citizen’s right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness and may be called in to provide needs when the free market proves that there are conflicting interests between profitability and these rights. I propose that we call this organization “Government”.

  6. Please do more of these about how much socialism has infected America. It’s very sad seeing how socialism ruins everything and free markets are the way to go.

    I really hope Michele Bachmann runs for president in 2012 and throws out Obama. She really understands this stuff and she has a brilliant legal mind.

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