I occasionally receive Scott Adams’ Dilbert newsletter, and the best part of it is the “quotes from In-duh-viduals” section. Here’s the one for this month:
Here now, some quotes from Induhviduals, submitted by DNRC field operatives. Apparently the most confusing concepts for Induhviduals are anything involving body parts, beverages, food, or animals.
“It’s so cold I’m getting goose nipples!”
I’m as full of vinegar as a Christmas turkey.
You can stop kicking this dead whale down the beach and find another hobby horse to beat to death.
“One man’s trash is another man’s garbage.”
I think I was speaking to Tom, and if it wasn’t Tom I’m sure it was someone else.
“Check the pulse on the temperature.”
“He’s making a mole hill out of an issue.”
“Don’t look at me in that tone of voice!”
“I home school three children and am expecting a forth!”
“This is the worst headache I’ve ever had in the history of my head.”
“Imitation is the sincerest form of mockery.”
“The squeaky wheel gets the worm.”
“You’re not the smartest peanut in the turd.”
“I’d give an arm to be ambidextrous!”
A close second is the “True tales of In-duh-viduals” section.