{"id":257,"date":"2006-08-17T06:15:43","date_gmt":"2006-08-17T11:15:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/oranchak.com\/?p=257"},"modified":"2006-08-17T06:15:43","modified_gmt":"2006-08-17T11:15:43","slug":"now-is-the-time-on-sprockets-when-we-x-ray-your-luggage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.oranchak.com\/?p=257","title":{"rendered":"Now is the time on Sprockets when we X-Ray your luggage"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/crackbaby\/touch-monkey.jpg\" alt=\"monkey\" style=\"float: left; margin: 3px 3px 3px 3px;\">The absolute best words to come out of airport security officials are related to &#8220;monkey helper&#8221; guidelines posted at the bottom of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.tsa.gov\/travelers\/airtravel\/assistant\/editorial_1056.shtm\">this Transportation Security Administration page<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\n&#8220;TSOs have been trained to not touch the monkey during the screening process.&#8221;\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Sprockets_(television)\">Dieter<\/a> would be offended.  &#8220;Vould you like to touch my monkey? Touch him! Love him! <i>Liebe meine abst-monkey<\/i>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Thanks to <a href=\"http:\/\/jwz.livejournal.com\/678233.html\">jwz<\/a> for the find.<\/p>\n<p>Incidentally, why is it that the only items under the &#8220;makeup and personal items&#8221; category on <a href=\"http:\/\/www.tsa.gov\/travelers\/airtravel\/prohibited\/permitted-prohibited-items.shtm\">this page<\/a> that are disallowed from checked luggage are &#8220;lip gels such as Carmex or Blistex&#8221;?  Every other cosmetic item is allowed on checked luggage besides Blistex!  What is so special about lip ointment??<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/crackbaby\/tsa01.jpg\" alt=\"lipporist\"\/><\/p>\n<p>So it&#8217;s OK to check knives and not Blistex?  Say what????<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The absolute best words to come out of airport security officials are related to &#8220;monkey helper&#8221; guidelines posted at the bottom of this Transportation Security Administration page: &#8220;TSOs have been trained to not touch the monkey during the screening process.&#8221; &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.oranchak.com\/?p=257\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,11,21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-257","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bizarre","category-funny","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.oranchak.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.oranchak.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.oranchak.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.oranchak.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.oranchak.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=257"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.oranchak.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.oranchak.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=257"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.oranchak.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=257"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.oranchak.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=257"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}