{"id":209,"date":"2006-03-14T00:37:04","date_gmt":"2006-03-14T05:37:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/oranchak.com\/?p=209"},"modified":"2006-03-14T00:37:04","modified_gmt":"2006-03-14T05:37:04","slug":"the-self-cleaning-ecosystem","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.oranchak.com\/?p=209","title":{"rendered":"The self-cleaning ecosystem"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Our after-dinner treat tonight was discovering that Iris had left a massive turd on the dining room floor.  Our response:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Step 1: Take Iris to the bathroom to get her cleaned up.<\/li>\n<li>Step 2: Go back to the dining room to take the turd off the.. hey, the turd&#8217;s gone, and the dog&#8217;s got a big smile on his face.<\/li>\n<li>Step 3: Listen to Iris scolding the dog repeatedly with &#8220;Don&#8217;t eat my poopie, Gonzo!  Not nice!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Step 4: Regard the incident as extremely disgusting, and replace this regard with &#8220;Oh, wait, at least he helped solve the problem.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" id=\"image208\" src=\"http:\/\/oranchak.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/03\/SmilingBlackLab.jpg\" alt=\"SmilingBlackLab.jpg\" \/><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It had a delightful, full-bodied aroma of toddler chow.  Now I will pant in your vicinity.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Our after-dinner treat tonight was discovering that Iris had left a massive turd on the dining room floor. Our response: Step 1: Take Iris to the bathroom to get her cleaned up. Step 2: Go back to the dining room &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.oranchak.com\/?p=209\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-209","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-food","category-funny"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.oranchak.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/209","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.oranchak.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.oranchak.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.oranchak.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.oranchak.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=209"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.oranchak.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/209\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.oranchak.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=209"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.oranchak.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=209"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.oranchak.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=209"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}